I've always found it curious that when rumors circulate about the sexual orientation of a celebrity-most notably movie stars like John Travolta or Tom Cruise-there is only one speculation: He might be gay. Yes, it's possible. But, others might argue, he's married, so he couldn't be gay. And that reasoning either draws a nod or a laugh, depending on one's point of view. But why doesn't it ever occur to people that another possibility exists: He could be bisexual.

Now I know there are plenty in the gay community who don't believe bisexuality exists at all, and to them I say: Thank you for your opinion, you're wrong, step aside. But to the more open-minded (and shouldn't this community be among the most open-minded?), consider this: A lot of married men who partake in sex with other men and their wives may choose not to give up one for the other, because they don't feel compelled to do so. Neither gender has a significantly greater pull on them than the other, so why choose when one can enjoy both? Of course, there have been-and are-truly gay men who live closeted lives, married to women who don't satisfy them on a sexual level, and perhaps not even on an emotional level, either. The majority of these men must live terribly conflicted existences. The same can probably be said about most bisexual men-whether they act upon their homosexual inclinations or not--who deceive their wives about their orientation.

But does that scenario fit all married men who desire other men? I'm thinking not, since one hears often enough about married couples, both of whom swing either way. But does it even require a scenario that extreme to think there might be happily married bisexual men out there? Why is it so inconceivable that there might be a middle ground: bisexual men in open, honest relationships with straight but accepting wives? Is it so outrageous that this type of sub-culture could exist? I don't think so, but it's unlikely we'll ever know for certain.

Why? Because married bisexual men-happily or otherwise-can "hide" behind the heterosexual front of a traditional marriage and are in no rush to stand up and be counted as anything other than straight. And that's a shame, really. Because bisexual men need to let their voices be heard-if only to squash the nay-sayers-gay and straight-who deny their very existence.

This site is for bi married men. http://www.bimarried.com/